whytheyrehot: Why He’s Hot: Why hello Ryan...

1 year ago

Why He’s Hot:

Why hello Ryan Kwanten! Aren’t you looking hot as hell today? Of course he is! Are you seeing this fine, fine male specimen before you? Everything from his arms, which look strong enough to sweep you off your feet, to his picture perfect chest, my man…excuse me, Ryan, is obviously the most fuckable guy anyone has ever laid eyes on.

HE’S AUSTRALIAN! Which means that well…he knows all about being down under, if you catch my drift. It also means that his accent is absolutely blissful, I mean honestly—imagine, you’re in the midst of passionate, animal sex and he yells out your name in that unbelievably beautiful voice of his.

His show, True Blood is on HBO for a reason. It’s just too hot for the eyes those not fortunate enough to be able to shell out the extra dough for the premium package. Speaking of premium packages…no, I’ll leave that for another point. As I was saying, this show is soft-core porn, and most of it is happening to Mr. Kwanten’s character, Jason Stackhouse. Let me put it this way, the opening scene of the entire series is Jason’s gorgeous blonde head buried in some bitch’s crotch. Yeah, and just think, all that sexual energy won’t got to waste either, I bet he has more than enough left for you my dears.

This demi-god is not afraid to go anywhere, or cross any lines. Apart from playing the womanizing Jason Stackhouse, he also played a kinda-sorta-totally kidnapping victim, who as Katy Perry would say on opposite day, “kissed a boy and liked it”. All that kink on screen and stage makes me wonder what he’s into between the sheets. Hmm, what a lovely thought, don’t push it away, give in!…just remember, bathroom’s on the right.

This. You can thank me after you take care of your lady boner.

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